I’m actually on the plane home from LA as I write this and I have this overwhelming feeling of accomplishment. Its not just because I qualified for the O at my first showing this year. Something else happened this time around; I have been doing a lot of mental work and mental preparation for this show and for life in general. I didn’t want to admit this to anyone at the time but a couple weeks out from this show I felt like I didn’t want to do this anymore, I don’t know if it was the starvation talking or if it was really a feeling of fear and nervousness about the outcome.
Regardless, I broke through my roadblock and it only took me a couple days and I was back on top mentally. It was weird, as I got closer to the show instead of becoming more nervous, anxious or stressed out, I actually became more and more calm as the big day approached. My girlfriend, trainer, brothers all noticed this change in me, they all kept saying, “you’re so calm!”
I decided about a week out from the show I would live in the “now.” No thinking ahead and no reliving the past. I decided that I was going to do everything I had to do for the day I was living the best I could and when the time came to get on stage I would be ready since everything leading up to it was 100% focused.
A weird thing happened when the day finally came though….there was still no nervous, anxious feeling. All I could feel was power. I know it sounds strange but its true, I woke up the day of the show calm and had this feeling overcoming my body that just said “you have done everything you have to do and are ready to take the placing you deserve.” As I got backstage it only got stronger, I felt more and more powerful in my body and mind as I started to pump up. Mentally I was on top of the world and nothing could break me.
I walked by guys pumping up and normally I would be the one looking around and feeling anxious but not on this day, I walked tall with authority and felt like I knew my place in the order and was ready to do battle. When they called my number I didn’t get shaky like normal, I popped up from my chair to get oiled and get in line. As I walked to the line I could feel my energy getting stronger and stronger, as I got closer to line up I became more powerful than I’ve ever felt in my life.
They called my name for the 60 second individual and before I walked out I pointed up at my father because I know he’s watching over me and said, “I know you’re with me.” When I walked I didn’t just waddle out like normal in fear, on this day I strutted out to the center of the stage trying to actually put a hole in the ground with each step I walked. When I finally got to center stage I turned to face the judges and the crowd and it was like there was a field of energy emitting from my body and everyone could see it!
You guys know how the rest of the story goes, Evan won, Dex to second and I landed in third. Although the placing wasn’t a win, that feeling of complete control over my mind and how things were going to play out was a victory for me. The mind can be destructive or it can make you more powerful than you could ever imagine.. Which person are you, do you run and hide from your fears or do you look them straight in the face and own them?
Sacrifice Without Regret,
Fouad ‘Hoss’ Abiad
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